Gotta be somethin to ramble about

Well I haven't been on in awhile, but I'm back. Today is the beginning of the 4th day that Ben has been gone to Kalamazoo. I miss him like crazy, things are so wierd around her without him home at night. See Ben is a clean freak. I am well not. So I am constantly trying to make sure things are done to where he is comfortable. So when he left on Tuesday, I thougth to myself. Here is the chance to let cleaning slide for a couple of days. Now Ben and I have lived together since the 1st of January. So three and a half months. In 3.5 months time, I have become a clean freak!!! How did this happen. I am still chasing after the kids making sure nothing is out of place, sweeping, mopping, making beds, dusting, doing laundry, dishes, washing windows, scrubbing toilets, scrubbing tubs, wiping down sinks, and anything else you can imagine when I just did all of that stuff the day before! What am I doing! :) He has made me lose my mind. LOL. But to be honest with you, I love it. My house always smells so nice, I know where everything is, and I don't have to worry about unexpected company. Come right on in! My house is clean and I know it. You can even use the bathroom. I cleaned it too! No dishes hidden in the oven so I can even make you dinner, no dirty laundry hidden in my room, so I can show you my new bedset. Wanna have a cup of cofee with me? Sure I have clean dishes! Its great! Now I am not saying that was always the case but usually something like that was wrong. (Just not all of them at the same time) I was not a slob, just really busy and things got pushed back. But I have learned to regulate times for everything. I LOVE IT!

So Ben is gone now from Monday thru Friday for the next two months or so. I can't stand it. But he has to do what he has to do to keep this family running. I love, admire and appreciate that from him more and more everyday. I know he doesnt' want to go anymore than I want him to go.

I prayed hard this morning. Ben and I are having major financial issues. Our savings is depleting quickly. There is just no more work for the General Contractor in Genesee county. When this job in Kalamazoo is done, they have no more work. I prayed that the good Lord would help us out. If you all could keep us in your prayers I would really appreciate it. We need all the help we can get. Ben is so used to having money at his disposal that he just doesnt' know how to handle this. It is stressing him out which stresses me out and then in turns stresses out our children and our relationship. We need prayer. We need a miracle soon. Michigan is taking families out one by one. Our economy is ruining people, it is dousing any hope they had and putting a huge strain on families. I wish someone would see that. If you want a happy world then you are going to have to make people happy. Making people struggle everyday needlessly does not make for happy people. It makes for stressed out people, this world does not need that.

Speaking of stress. I had court appointment on Monday. I like a moron, did not go. Now I did not miss this court appointment on purpose. I have thought in my head all week prior that I had a court appointment on Tuesday. now I knew it was the 14th but I just thought that the 14th was Tuesday and nothing happened prior to that to make me realize otherwise. So at 4am on Tuesday morning for some reason, Ben and I were both awake. I had just started to fall asleep and the H&R Block commercial that I had seen on Monday afternoon ran through my head. You only have one more day left to file your taxes. Hmm Glad I did mine......oh wait that means that today must be the 15th!!!! I rolled over quickly and said. "Honey, what day is today!!! I mean the date what is the date. Now Ben is looking at me like I have lost my mind wondering why I am so flipped out at 4am about the date. So before he can answer I run to the kitchen and check the calendar. TODAY IS THE 15TH I MISSED MY COURT DATE!! I flopped back into bed and told Ben through tears what had happened. Now Ben does not do crying, he just doesnt' know what to do (coming from a family of all boys, not even any girl cousins or anything, they didn't cry much) He rolled over after a few minutes and put his arms around me buried my face in his chest and just let me cry. He rubbed my back and kept telling me that things were gonna be ok, people make mistakes all the time, I'm human. Things will be ok. Well all of that and I still cried until 6 in the morning, until I finally fell asleep. When I woke up at 10 minutes to 9 I got up and grabbed the phone, waited all 8 and a half minutes to 9 and then called my lawyer. After I told her what I had done, she said "Heather don't worry, Carl didnt' show up either." His lawyer didnt' show, he didnt' show, no one did but my lawyer. So since the motion was filed by Carl and his attorney, and they did not show up for their own hearing. The custody battle will be swept under the rug for now. Carl can still file another, but I am doubting this will happen. So I thank God every second I remember for being a watchful eye for me on Monday morning.

Ok, I think I may be done rambling for the next few hours while I get this house into tip top shape for when Ben comes home tonight. I want him to be proud of me that I kept this house in working order while he was gone. Isnt' that silly? Oh well, sometimes a little silliness goes a long way. Have a great day, a great weekend and I will talk again soon! Until Later
Heather