Dicipline.
I know, its a dirty word and I'm sorry
Ben and I are having a lot of trouble with this part of our relationship.
I was raised by my mom. A single working mom of two children two years apart. Who worked and raised us with little to no outside help. Using the occasional wooden spoon to give us a spanking. By the time she remarried, dicipline was something she was no longer teaching but just enforcing what we already knew.
Ben was raised in a two parent household where his mom stayed home with him and his three brothers and used the ever so frequent "Just wait until your dad gets home" Boys who were spanked with belts or a paddle. These boys respect their dad more than a lot of teenage boys but they still fear his wrath also. They know that if dad said don't do it and they did, dad was gonna blister their butts. (boy all this spankin really sound awful, but I guess we all made it as civilized adult. The world really is a different place huh?)
So our upbringings seperate us when it comes to dicipline. I hate to see my children upset, so I am awful at dicicpline. I give in too easy, I let things go and I baby them when they are upset with me. I can't stick to a grounding. I'm always afraid they are gonna miss out on something and be upset. I hate to see them hurt. Ben on the other hand is trying to get them to to behave like children should behave. When they get into trouble, they get punished. And I completely agree, I just have a hard time when he does it and I want to run to them and baby them. I need some help on how to come to a happy medium. Ben has no intention of spanking the children. He says if they need it they will get it. But it is few and far between that he ever thinks they need one. And we have agreed that if they do need a spanking than it will be with a hand and not a firm one. I WILL NOT let someone dicicpline my (our) child with anything but what the good Lord gave you. I want to teach them right from wrong, not beat them. I do not believe in the "get the belt" or using a paddle. So we have made a step in the right direction in making agreements there. So my deal is. I have to find a way to let Ben dicicpline. He is better at it, he doesn't give in and the children listen to him. They know he is not a pushover like me. I want my children to grow up to be respectable adults and dicipline is required to do that. I am completly aware of that. I just need to learn to give up some control when it comes to that. I don't want the children to resent me for having Ben dicipline them. Ok enough about that. Any pointers? I'd be happy to listen.
Spring. I love Spring. What I dont' love is the bugs. Over the past week as things have started to thaw out I have killed three spiders and there is a fly crawling on the window as I speak. I hate Bugs!! I just hate them. Ugh. But on the other hand I had the best time today just listening to the thunderstorm. Boy to thunderstorms make me feel good. They are so relaxing. I love spring.
Bailey and I got to spend some time together today that we have not had in a long time. It was jut her and I. We got up this morning and lounged around the house in our PJ's. We left the house about 1 to go and get some Taco Bell (her and I's favorite fast food) then we stopped at the movie store and rented "Enchanted" Great movie I might add. We both really enjoyed it.
I love spending time with her doing girl things. I am going to have to find a way to do it with her more often.
The new me. I came to a conclusion yesterday. I am going to stop whining, stop complaining and stop being negative when it comes to Ben working all the time. I usually complain because he is not spending any time with us as a family and when he gets home he is always so tired that conversation is out of the picture. So the new me is going to embrace the fact that I have found a man with a good job, one is supporting us while I chase my dreams of going back to school. One who stepped up to the plate and took on an established family of four without even batting an eye. I am going to love him the best way I know how and show him just how much I appreciate what he does for us. Maybe then he will want to spend more time at home. I mean when I think about. Who really wants to work all day and all week and then spend the weekend arguing and being griped at for the things you have not done. Boy, Ive been so awful and ungrateful. Shame on me!
Ok, I'm done for now, Hope you all have a great day!!
Until Later
Heather
Monday, March 31, 2008
Saturday, March 29, 2008
Another Day, Another Tomorrow
Hey all, its been a few days since I've been on here, (once again, the laptop has had a hard week at work with ben) I have wanted to blog all week and now that I am here, I can't think of a single thing to write about. I am sure that by the end of this blog that I will have found plenty of things to babble about. Lets See. Hmmmm
We'll start with Daily Life. Oh wait, thats the most boring subject of all. LOL
I do want to tell you all that Carl called the other day (this is his weekend) to tell me that he is going to take the kids all next week starting on Sunday. Well Bailey is going up north with my mom so he will have Hunter all week next week. I'm a little nervous. I have not been away from them that long in a long time, usually they are at my moms and I am ok with it. But I have never sent either of them to their dads for a week. The kids normally go on Friday night at 6 and come home Sunday night at 6. Never for a week. I think Hunter will do fine, its just been a long time since Carl had to deal with them for that long. I really hope he does not get irritated.
Bailey on the other hand is so excited to go to her Grandma Pam's for a week. She will get to help Grandma in the store, go shopping, do crafts, and eat Grandma Pams cooking all week. Hey wait a minute! I want to go to Grandma's!! I am sure she will have a blast.
Ethan is home with me all week. Just the two of us while Ben works. I think he is going to Grandma Poff's for a few nights in the middle of the week. He loves to go to his Grandma Poffs. She lets him bake, and eat sweets. (Just what he needs) they read, do puzzles and go on shopping trips. Ethan loves to shop.
I on the other hand am going to welcome the break with open arms. Theresa and I are joining some friends on Wednesday night for a girls night out at Maxi's. I am so excited. I can't remember the last time I went out with the girls. I'm not a big drinker, so Maxi's will be a blast. They have a huge dancefloor and great music. I love it there!!!
Ben and I are going to try to find some Ben and Heather time real soon. Things have been a little tense around here with our money situation. I have been broke before but never at an isolated time. This is a different broke. All through the summer Ben makes really good money. I thank the Lord everyday that he has found a job that he can rely on while living in Michigan. Heres the deal. Ben is a General Contractor. So during the late fall months (Oct, Nov) he starts to slow down and wrap up all of the jobs he started in the early fall, which also means collecting large paychecks. So early winter (Dec, Jan) we do just fine although there is no work. So that leads us to late winter (Feb, Mar) we are dead broke. I am so used to having money at my disposal that I am not sure how to handle this being broke situation. ( My goodness I sound greedy!) I know how to be broke I just think that I got spoiled before. So that leads us to early Spring (April, May) things really start to pick up and Ben works between 80 and 90 hours a week. Which before I was used to having him home everyday at 4. So I think Sprink is going to be a big adjustment for me every year if he stays in this line of work. I know I have to work through this and be patient. Its just hard. So every spring we are still dead broke until mid april and he is gone 90 hours a week. A huge change from having money just two months ago and him being home all the time.
I just need to be thankful for what I have. I know I know. Sometimes that is just really hard. I'll do it. I swear I am gonna work on it. I need him to know how much I appreciate the hard work he does. And I am trying.
Ok, enough about that. What else can I ramble about??? Hmm...ooh this is hard today.
SCHOOL!! Oh yeah, I almost forgot to tell you all. I am signing up for college real soon, I hope to start at the end of April. I am going to go to American Medical Careers. I am taking a PCT course. Patient Care Technition. I will be learning, EKG procedures, Nurses Aide procedures and my favorite Phlebotomy procedures (drawing blood) I am so excited. Finally I get to do something I can enjoy. Not that I dont' enjoy being a Stay at Home Mom, but the kids are going to be in school full time here real soon. Only a year and a half for Ethan. I need something to do while they are away. I am very excited to be able to help offer some money towards our everyday living. The course is 6 weeks long M-F from 8 to 4. Starting at the end of April, as long as I can get my financial aide taken care of. So wish me luck!
Ok, I told you I could find alot to ramble about today. And I did. I hope you all have a great weekend and I will be posting again soon!
Until Later
Heather
We'll start with Daily Life. Oh wait, thats the most boring subject of all. LOL
I do want to tell you all that Carl called the other day (this is his weekend) to tell me that he is going to take the kids all next week starting on Sunday. Well Bailey is going up north with my mom so he will have Hunter all week next week. I'm a little nervous. I have not been away from them that long in a long time, usually they are at my moms and I am ok with it. But I have never sent either of them to their dads for a week. The kids normally go on Friday night at 6 and come home Sunday night at 6. Never for a week. I think Hunter will do fine, its just been a long time since Carl had to deal with them for that long. I really hope he does not get irritated.
Bailey on the other hand is so excited to go to her Grandma Pam's for a week. She will get to help Grandma in the store, go shopping, do crafts, and eat Grandma Pams cooking all week. Hey wait a minute! I want to go to Grandma's!! I am sure she will have a blast.
Ethan is home with me all week. Just the two of us while Ben works. I think he is going to Grandma Poff's for a few nights in the middle of the week. He loves to go to his Grandma Poffs. She lets him bake, and eat sweets. (Just what he needs) they read, do puzzles and go on shopping trips. Ethan loves to shop.
I on the other hand am going to welcome the break with open arms. Theresa and I are joining some friends on Wednesday night for a girls night out at Maxi's. I am so excited. I can't remember the last time I went out with the girls. I'm not a big drinker, so Maxi's will be a blast. They have a huge dancefloor and great music. I love it there!!!
Ben and I are going to try to find some Ben and Heather time real soon. Things have been a little tense around here with our money situation. I have been broke before but never at an isolated time. This is a different broke. All through the summer Ben makes really good money. I thank the Lord everyday that he has found a job that he can rely on while living in Michigan. Heres the deal. Ben is a General Contractor. So during the late fall months (Oct, Nov) he starts to slow down and wrap up all of the jobs he started in the early fall, which also means collecting large paychecks. So early winter (Dec, Jan) we do just fine although there is no work. So that leads us to late winter (Feb, Mar) we are dead broke. I am so used to having money at my disposal that I am not sure how to handle this being broke situation. ( My goodness I sound greedy!) I know how to be broke I just think that I got spoiled before. So that leads us to early Spring (April, May) things really start to pick up and Ben works between 80 and 90 hours a week. Which before I was used to having him home everyday at 4. So I think Sprink is going to be a big adjustment for me every year if he stays in this line of work. I know I have to work through this and be patient. Its just hard. So every spring we are still dead broke until mid april and he is gone 90 hours a week. A huge change from having money just two months ago and him being home all the time.
I just need to be thankful for what I have. I know I know. Sometimes that is just really hard. I'll do it. I swear I am gonna work on it. I need him to know how much I appreciate the hard work he does. And I am trying.
Ok, enough about that. What else can I ramble about??? Hmm...ooh this is hard today.
SCHOOL!! Oh yeah, I almost forgot to tell you all. I am signing up for college real soon, I hope to start at the end of April. I am going to go to American Medical Careers. I am taking a PCT course. Patient Care Technition. I will be learning, EKG procedures, Nurses Aide procedures and my favorite Phlebotomy procedures (drawing blood) I am so excited. Finally I get to do something I can enjoy. Not that I dont' enjoy being a Stay at Home Mom, but the kids are going to be in school full time here real soon. Only a year and a half for Ethan. I need something to do while they are away. I am very excited to be able to help offer some money towards our everyday living. The course is 6 weeks long M-F from 8 to 4. Starting at the end of April, as long as I can get my financial aide taken care of. So wish me luck!
Ok, I told you I could find alot to ramble about today. And I did. I hope you all have a great weekend and I will be posting again soon!
Until Later
Heather
Tuesday, March 25, 2008
I just can't seem to live and learn
Well Easter went Fantastic! Saturday was a hit. Ben's grandparents loved the kids and his whole family was so welcoming to me. I found out that his great aunt laura ( his grandma's aunt) is the oldest Uof M graduate. She earned her teaching degree one class at a time. How cool is that.
The kids had an Easter Egg hunt at his grandma's well it was more of a scavenger hunt, the kids got a piece of paper with clues and they had to find their eggs, then Ben's aunt surprised us all with a hunt for the adults. Ben and I were on a misson...We found them all and came in second place. Not bad for a beginner!
The Easter Bunny does not visit our house Sunday Morning, its always been that way so that we were never late for church because we were playing with our toys and eating chocolate in our Easter best. So Sunday morning Ben and I were up bright and early to go to church with his dad. The church had a wonderful Easter breakfast of Eggs, Sausage, Biscuts and Gravy, Pancakes, Bacon, OJ and coffee. Needless to say I was full. It made it very hard to stay awake during the service, I always need a nap right after I fill my tummy. I made it through the service with only a few yawns. (Breakfast started at 8 in Swartz Creek, so were up at 6). After church Ben and I came home, (Bailey and Hunter were with my Grandma so they could go to church with her and Ethan was with Bens brothers) I started to make dinner for that evening. We had Lasagna, Salad, Cottage Cheese and Garlic Bread. It was a complete hit, his family loved it ( I took dinner to their house) While dinner was cooking at his parents house, Bens parents and Ben and I took a walk and I got to experience some of what it was like when Ben was a child. where he played, forts he built and trouble he got into. It was really nice.
The weekend was great. I must say I am quite happy with the way it went. Ben and I are still having a few bits of trouble here and there, I just don't know how to fix them. I just can't seem to portray to him how happy and appreciative I am. I try, and I think its enough, but its not getting the job done. Neither of us feel appreciated. I've got some work to do. I honestly think it is becasue I am getting back down in the dumps. I have put on 10lbs over this winter and I just don't seem to have the energy I had before. I need a boost. What I really need is summer I need the warm air and the fresh breeze to get me motivated. I am going to talk to my doctor and get back on my medication for awhile. I was taking Wellbutrin and it really seemed to help raise my spirits. I guess I am gonna take it for awhile longer. I am having a bit of trouble seeing the good in every day. I am always irritated, and on edge. I don't want to live like this. I have got to fix this.
Ok. Enough for now, Hope you all have a great day!
Heather
The kids had an Easter Egg hunt at his grandma's well it was more of a scavenger hunt, the kids got a piece of paper with clues and they had to find their eggs, then Ben's aunt surprised us all with a hunt for the adults. Ben and I were on a misson...We found them all and came in second place. Not bad for a beginner!
The Easter Bunny does not visit our house Sunday Morning, its always been that way so that we were never late for church because we were playing with our toys and eating chocolate in our Easter best. So Sunday morning Ben and I were up bright and early to go to church with his dad. The church had a wonderful Easter breakfast of Eggs, Sausage, Biscuts and Gravy, Pancakes, Bacon, OJ and coffee. Needless to say I was full. It made it very hard to stay awake during the service, I always need a nap right after I fill my tummy. I made it through the service with only a few yawns. (Breakfast started at 8 in Swartz Creek, so were up at 6). After church Ben and I came home, (Bailey and Hunter were with my Grandma so they could go to church with her and Ethan was with Bens brothers) I started to make dinner for that evening. We had Lasagna, Salad, Cottage Cheese and Garlic Bread. It was a complete hit, his family loved it ( I took dinner to their house) While dinner was cooking at his parents house, Bens parents and Ben and I took a walk and I got to experience some of what it was like when Ben was a child. where he played, forts he built and trouble he got into. It was really nice.
The weekend was great. I must say I am quite happy with the way it went. Ben and I are still having a few bits of trouble here and there, I just don't know how to fix them. I just can't seem to portray to him how happy and appreciative I am. I try, and I think its enough, but its not getting the job done. Neither of us feel appreciated. I've got some work to do. I honestly think it is becasue I am getting back down in the dumps. I have put on 10lbs over this winter and I just don't seem to have the energy I had before. I need a boost. What I really need is summer I need the warm air and the fresh breeze to get me motivated. I am going to talk to my doctor and get back on my medication for awhile. I was taking Wellbutrin and it really seemed to help raise my spirits. I guess I am gonna take it for awhile longer. I am having a bit of trouble seeing the good in every day. I am always irritated, and on edge. I don't want to live like this. I have got to fix this.
Ok. Enough for now, Hope you all have a great day!
Heather
Saturday, March 22, 2008
Here comes Peter Cottontail....
Hey all, I am gonna make this one quick, I have kids to get ready for their first Easter dinner at Ben's grandparents. We have never met this part of the family. (Ben's mom's side) Not only do I get to meet the grandparents today, I get to do it without Ben. He is working in West Bloomfield this morning, and since dinner is at 2 he is going to meet us there at 3. So I am going to follow Ben's parents and brothers down to Milford. I'm really really nervous. What if they dont' like me? What if they don't think I am good enough for him? Oh well, we love each other and that is all that matter. I don't know what the deal is today but my kids are driving me crazy!! They are not listening at all. Maybe I am just irritated who knows. I hope the kids are good at his grandparents house. How embarrasing if they are not.
Ok, I'll write more at the end of the weekend.
I hope you all have a great Easter!
Until later
Ok, I'll write more at the end of the weekend.
I hope you all have a great Easter!
Until later
Thursday, March 20, 2008
Hmmm. I think I need work.
Ben came home from work today at 9am. Just to rebandage his fingers (He cut them with a circular saw yesterday, and boy are they ugly) Anyway we were standing in the bathroom and he said something that really stuck a cord with me. He is very big on budget, I am not, he is very big on Man vs Woman roles in the household. I am having trouble. Anyway, while he was bandaging his ring finger I jokingly said " I know what you were doing, you were trying to cut off your wedding band finger so you don't have to marry me" He then said " I will marry you, but we both have some things to work on first."
Does this mean he is taking back saying he will marry me? GRR CARL I HATE YOU FOR MAKING ME DOUBT MEN! Sorry..exploded. I know what I have to work on, I have to let him run our household. He is the man in this relationship, I have to trust him with mine and our childrens lives. I just don't know how to do this. (Michelle, how do you do it and with such grace and poise?)
I am so used to running the house, paying the bills, grocery shopping, fixing things. All of that. I dont' know how to give up that control. I want to. trust me I do. I just dont' know how. The things we have to work on are me accepting our budget, learning how to let go, and let less things bother me.
I almost feel as if I need to argue. I don't know why, I am so used to arguing that it is nice not to but I feel as if something is missing. Ben works a lot of hours, I wonder if me "acting" upset is a way to get attention? Lord I feel like a child when I actually say that outloud.
This is just the beginning of a long summer of 90 hour work weeks, he leaves before sun up and comes home after sun down.(He is a General Contractor)
I have said on numerous occasions that I am an "attention whore" I need it, I crave it, I can't live without it. He tries so hard, and he does so well , I think I am just scared that I am not going to get it and start to feel like I am in a relationship that I don't enjoy. ( I don't want to have the feeling that I am back with Carl) Ben has no intention of making me feel that way, it just happens while he is out working and taking care of our family. I am think I am just being selfish. I dont' mean to. I swear!
I have never like to be alone, I love having someone home with me. Please tell me that I am just being silly, tell me that he loves me and I am over reacting. He is a 21 year old man who has taken on a woman and her three children. This can't be just a whim. I know he really does love me right?
Anyway, I wanted to share with you what my wonderful 4 year old said yesterday. We were on the way to drop him off at school and the Brooks and Dunn song came on the radio. The corus had just been sung "God must be busy" and Ethan piped up, "Of course god is busy, he's busy making sure we are all ok!
Now I am slacking on my part. Ethan has never been to church. Bailey and Hunter go every week, but Ben and I have never had the guts to take Ethan. he is such a busy body, and he has horrible stranger anxiety. I've never gotten up the nerve to take him.
I wonder how he knows these things, he knows the things that God has made, what he has done for us, he says grace with Ben at the dinner table. He is such a smart little boy. God has blessed me for sure!
Ok I am done for now, I will write more tomorrow!
Until Later
Heather
Does this mean he is taking back saying he will marry me? GRR CARL I HATE YOU FOR MAKING ME DOUBT MEN! Sorry..exploded. I know what I have to work on, I have to let him run our household. He is the man in this relationship, I have to trust him with mine and our childrens lives. I just don't know how to do this. (Michelle, how do you do it and with such grace and poise?)
I am so used to running the house, paying the bills, grocery shopping, fixing things. All of that. I dont' know how to give up that control. I want to. trust me I do. I just dont' know how. The things we have to work on are me accepting our budget, learning how to let go, and let less things bother me.
I almost feel as if I need to argue. I don't know why, I am so used to arguing that it is nice not to but I feel as if something is missing. Ben works a lot of hours, I wonder if me "acting" upset is a way to get attention? Lord I feel like a child when I actually say that outloud.
This is just the beginning of a long summer of 90 hour work weeks, he leaves before sun up and comes home after sun down.(He is a General Contractor)
I have said on numerous occasions that I am an "attention whore" I need it, I crave it, I can't live without it. He tries so hard, and he does so well , I think I am just scared that I am not going to get it and start to feel like I am in a relationship that I don't enjoy. ( I don't want to have the feeling that I am back with Carl) Ben has no intention of making me feel that way, it just happens while he is out working and taking care of our family. I am think I am just being selfish. I dont' mean to. I swear!
I have never like to be alone, I love having someone home with me. Please tell me that I am just being silly, tell me that he loves me and I am over reacting. He is a 21 year old man who has taken on a woman and her three children. This can't be just a whim. I know he really does love me right?
Anyway, I wanted to share with you what my wonderful 4 year old said yesterday. We were on the way to drop him off at school and the Brooks and Dunn song came on the radio. The corus had just been sung "God must be busy" and Ethan piped up, "Of course god is busy, he's busy making sure we are all ok!
Now I am slacking on my part. Ethan has never been to church. Bailey and Hunter go every week, but Ben and I have never had the guts to take Ethan. he is such a busy body, and he has horrible stranger anxiety. I've never gotten up the nerve to take him.
I wonder how he knows these things, he knows the things that God has made, what he has done for us, he says grace with Ben at the dinner table. He is such a smart little boy. God has blessed me for sure!
Ok I am done for now, I will write more tomorrow!
Until Later
Heather
Wednesday, March 19, 2008
I hear evil, I see evil, Please lord keep me from being evil.
Ok. Child Custody. **WARNING** I am gonna gripe, moan and complain. Like it or Leave it.
Ok, as you all know, Carl and I have been divorced since October 29, 2007 and separated since September 29, 2006. When he left in September he pretty much disappeared off the face of the earth, we did not hear from him for a few weeks. He didn't call to check on the kids, nothing.
Well a few weeks went by and I get a call he wants to take the kids every other weekend. Great! I could honestly use the break. I'll tell you, if you have never been a mother of three going through a divorce you'll never understand how much help you really need. I always thought I was the one doing all the work for the kids because Carl was always too busy. Let me tell you, when you are instantly stuck into "sole provider" role. It stings. Like a bee! I never realized how much work Carl was actually putting into this. I didn't' notice the little things and never appreciated them (Hmm wonder why our marriage didn't' work??) anyway. I am now doing absolutely everything, housework, kid work, yard work, car work, me work, work, work, work. Its all on me! Wow. How did I do it?
Anyway back to visitation. He took all three kids from Friday at 6 until Sunday at 6. They seemed to have a good time, and wanted to go back, They missed their daddy.
Well this routine went on for months, the only bad thing was, Carl was setting up a custody case and I was not even aware of it. He called PS on me (they found nothing wrong and never even called again), he told friends of mine lies about my parenting skills, and to put it simple he made my life miserable.
Our first child support meeting came about. May of 2007 this was a SMILE meeting. (Start Making It Live able for Everyone). The mediator asked us what we wanted to do about custody, these were Carl's exact words " I want custody of the kids I don't' want to pay child support to that bitch" He said that right to the lady doing the informal investigation. So needless to say I received a letter approx a week later saying I had custody of the children and Carl has reasonable visitation and he has to pay $137 a week in child support.
A few weeks later I receive a letter saying that Carl has objected to this order, so now he can hold off paying support. But the real kicker is, he doesn't want to claim Ethan any longer, he says Ethan is not his and he refuses to pay child support on him. Now that's fine except he now does not have to pay child support on Ethan he also does not want to see Ethan. (as I write this, Ethan is in Ben(daddy)'s office singing E I E I O over and over again. how you turn away a beautiful child like Ethan I'll never know) So we go to court and sometime before Carl objected to this order he has the paternity tested on all three children. The results came back and he promptly took them to our next meeting in August. He presented the results to the referee and she never even looked at them, she said OK. You are no longer legally responsible for Ethan. Now we know that Ethan is not Carl's it is not a secret. It never was from anyone. **side note** Carl and I split up after a year of marriage august of 02 and we were sure that we were never getting back together, well me being the woman who can't stand to be alone, I started dating rob immediately after I left Carl. But not a minute before. I can't say that just talking to rob did not help me come to my decision though. Well long story short, I was desperate for attention and ended up pregnant not more than two weeks after I left Carl. Carl and I were already trying for a baby, so I was not on birth control. Well things did not work out with Rob and I and we split in December of 02. Carl and I decided to work things out in January of 03. I told him my situation and he proceeded to tell me everything will be OK, he will raise this baby as his own and we won't speak another word about it. He is his and that is that. I gave birth to a beautiful baby boy in May of 2003 and Carl was the best daddy ever up until it came time to pay child support. Yes Carl is on his birth certificate and Ethan does share his last name, but in the state of Michigan that means nothing ** back to story, now that you are filled in** So I had a four year old child on my hands who wanted nothing more than to see his daddy. I was torn up, and had no idea what to do. Well visitation stopped in Mid July, before the results came up, I told Carl that if he did not want all three than I was not going to send just two until the courts told me I had to, well after that, he did not see them again until Thanksgiving of 07. I started to hide it from Ethan and take the kids there every other weekend. It has been going good until our court date in December, he subpoenaed my brother and my sister in law to testify that I was a horrible mother, didn't' work, he filed the wrong paperwork and my lawyer caught it quickly, the session was adj urned until the 26th of February, well at this time Carl has obtained a lawyer and she is not ready, so she adjourns to the 13th of March. well that time also has come and gone, his lawyer had a "family emergency' but wanted to know if I would settle for split custody, the kids stay with me for one week and then with him for one and back and fourth. NO WAY!! I told them I would see them in court as soon as they could get there stuff together. So Ben and I went to see my attorney yesterday afternoon, he seems to think we have a solid case and Carl is floating on clouds, I don't want to curse myself but it seems like this may finally work out. My next date is set for the 14Th of April, lets see if they can hold to this one. I'll let everyone know. So here is my argument with Carl. does he honestly think that he can support these children better than i can? Who does he think has been taking care of them for almost 2 years with no child support, me that's who! I am the one providing for them on a daily bases not 4 days out of the month, i am the one who rubs their back when they are sick, studies homework, fills their prescriptions, goes to teacher conferences!! ME that's who! If he can not afford to pay child support than how is he going to support them full time? I wonder? Well I am done rambling for now, I am gonna go and relax for a bit before I take Ethan to school. You all have a wonderful day and I am sorry if I bored you, I was actually just writing to get my facts straightened out in my head so I know what to tell the judge in a month. I want to be prepared as much as possible.
Until Later
Heather
Ok, as you all know, Carl and I have been divorced since October 29, 2007 and separated since September 29, 2006. When he left in September he pretty much disappeared off the face of the earth, we did not hear from him for a few weeks. He didn't call to check on the kids, nothing.
Well a few weeks went by and I get a call he wants to take the kids every other weekend. Great! I could honestly use the break. I'll tell you, if you have never been a mother of three going through a divorce you'll never understand how much help you really need. I always thought I was the one doing all the work for the kids because Carl was always too busy. Let me tell you, when you are instantly stuck into "sole provider" role. It stings. Like a bee! I never realized how much work Carl was actually putting into this. I didn't' notice the little things and never appreciated them (Hmm wonder why our marriage didn't' work??) anyway. I am now doing absolutely everything, housework, kid work, yard work, car work, me work, work, work, work. Its all on me! Wow. How did I do it?
Anyway back to visitation. He took all three kids from Friday at 6 until Sunday at 6. They seemed to have a good time, and wanted to go back, They missed their daddy.
Well this routine went on for months, the only bad thing was, Carl was setting up a custody case and I was not even aware of it. He called PS on me (they found nothing wrong and never even called again), he told friends of mine lies about my parenting skills, and to put it simple he made my life miserable.
Our first child support meeting came about. May of 2007 this was a SMILE meeting. (Start Making It Live able for Everyone). The mediator asked us what we wanted to do about custody, these were Carl's exact words " I want custody of the kids I don't' want to pay child support to that bitch" He said that right to the lady doing the informal investigation. So needless to say I received a letter approx a week later saying I had custody of the children and Carl has reasonable visitation and he has to pay $137 a week in child support.
A few weeks later I receive a letter saying that Carl has objected to this order, so now he can hold off paying support. But the real kicker is, he doesn't want to claim Ethan any longer, he says Ethan is not his and he refuses to pay child support on him. Now that's fine except he now does not have to pay child support on Ethan he also does not want to see Ethan. (as I write this, Ethan is in Ben(daddy)'s office singing E I E I O over and over again. how you turn away a beautiful child like Ethan I'll never know) So we go to court and sometime before Carl objected to this order he has the paternity tested on all three children. The results came back and he promptly took them to our next meeting in August. He presented the results to the referee and she never even looked at them, she said OK. You are no longer legally responsible for Ethan. Now we know that Ethan is not Carl's it is not a secret. It never was from anyone. **side note** Carl and I split up after a year of marriage august of 02 and we were sure that we were never getting back together, well me being the woman who can't stand to be alone, I started dating rob immediately after I left Carl. But not a minute before. I can't say that just talking to rob did not help me come to my decision though. Well long story short, I was desperate for attention and ended up pregnant not more than two weeks after I left Carl. Carl and I were already trying for a baby, so I was not on birth control. Well things did not work out with Rob and I and we split in December of 02. Carl and I decided to work things out in January of 03. I told him my situation and he proceeded to tell me everything will be OK, he will raise this baby as his own and we won't speak another word about it. He is his and that is that. I gave birth to a beautiful baby boy in May of 2003 and Carl was the best daddy ever up until it came time to pay child support. Yes Carl is on his birth certificate and Ethan does share his last name, but in the state of Michigan that means nothing ** back to story, now that you are filled in** So I had a four year old child on my hands who wanted nothing more than to see his daddy. I was torn up, and had no idea what to do. Well visitation stopped in Mid July, before the results came up, I told Carl that if he did not want all three than I was not going to send just two until the courts told me I had to, well after that, he did not see them again until Thanksgiving of 07. I started to hide it from Ethan and take the kids there every other weekend. It has been going good until our court date in December, he subpoenaed my brother and my sister in law to testify that I was a horrible mother, didn't' work, he filed the wrong paperwork and my lawyer caught it quickly, the session was adj urned until the 26th of February, well at this time Carl has obtained a lawyer and she is not ready, so she adjourns to the 13th of March. well that time also has come and gone, his lawyer had a "family emergency' but wanted to know if I would settle for split custody, the kids stay with me for one week and then with him for one and back and fourth. NO WAY!! I told them I would see them in court as soon as they could get there stuff together. So Ben and I went to see my attorney yesterday afternoon, he seems to think we have a solid case and Carl is floating on clouds, I don't want to curse myself but it seems like this may finally work out. My next date is set for the 14Th of April, lets see if they can hold to this one. I'll let everyone know. So here is my argument with Carl. does he honestly think that he can support these children better than i can? Who does he think has been taking care of them for almost 2 years with no child support, me that's who! I am the one providing for them on a daily bases not 4 days out of the month, i am the one who rubs their back when they are sick, studies homework, fills their prescriptions, goes to teacher conferences!! ME that's who! If he can not afford to pay child support than how is he going to support them full time? I wonder? Well I am done rambling for now, I am gonna go and relax for a bit before I take Ethan to school. You all have a wonderful day and I am sorry if I bored you, I was actually just writing to get my facts straightened out in my head so I know what to tell the judge in a month. I want to be prepared as much as possible.
Until Later
Heather
Tuesday, March 18, 2008
Time to wake up and smell the coffee!!
Well here I sit on the couch, feeling as lazy as ever. I just don't have the energy to move. I have laundry to do, that sits on the couch seperated into everyones baskets. But they scream at me......FOLD ME!! FOLD ME!! and I yell back in a not so nice tone..I DON'T WANT TO, AND YOU CAN'T MAKE ME! Great I am yelling at my laundry and now I am telling the world about it. See what I mean. I'm crazy. Anyway, I am sure the laundry will get folded before the kids go to school naked. (I hope)
This weekend was great fun, I can't remember the last time we had such a drama free weekend, minus one who drank a little to much and his sober thoughts came out at drunken thoughts. Oh-Well things happen, and I am sure it was one of the best things that could have happened to those two. They actually talked things out the next day after they realized that both of them had been holding feelings of guilt, scardness, and anger inside. If you ask me I'll tell ya, Get that stuff out! Holding feelings in will kill ya...Start by blogging...boy does it feel good.
Anyway about our get together this weekend. Ben and I threw a First Annual Taste of Summer Party and we had an absolute blast!! Ben and I grabbed some munchies and I made oatmeal raisin cookies and sloppy joes, his mom brought swedish meatballs and Art brought some cheese and crackers. After I got this huge snackfest set out on the table people started showing up. As you all know I love to entertain, but for some reason getting people to show up is always a problem, so I was a little worried. Turns out I was worried for nothing. We had about 30 people show up. Perfect size party! Ben lit a bonfire in our new backyard and we set up some chairs. We all sat around telling jokes, talking and generally having a good time. It was a little chilly, but sitting next to the fire ben built us, we were just toasty. After a few people left, we all came inside and got to witness an arm wrestling match boy was that funny. We all retired at about 2am. Late enought for me, thats for sure. We didnt' do anything crazy, or out of the ordinary, we just got a chance to sit around and be ourselves for a few hours. Have a few drinks and enjoy the friends that we have. I can't wait to do it again.
This blog is going to be totally all over today, I can feel it. I just have so many things I want to talk about and I think I am going to try to get one or two of those things out today.
Ben and I have a problem, we both want to be in control. I don't exactly want to control everything I just want to know whats going on. With decisions, problems and solutions. I want to be a part of the final decision. This is not how things are happening. Ben and I have responsibilities and we know them well. He goes to work everyday to make money and support me and "our" chilren. I cook, clean, and take care of the house everyday. To be honest its a little rough for me. Dating a 100% clean freak is a little odd. I love a clean house, but if it doesnt' get done today I will get at it tomorrow, after all I have all day. Ben on the other hand can't handle it. He is under the understanding that everything needs to be done today. I am only one person, I can't do it. Heres the perfect example. I let laundry slide this last week, lets say I did probably 4 loads when i should have done 15. Ooops, Sometimes i just get burned out. Anyway. I started the laundry up yesterday, finished all but apprx 3 loads of it. I did not get the laundry put away. It is sitting on the couch in the living room seperated into each persons seperate basket. When Ben got home from work, I had dinner ready (Stuffed Pork Chops, Mashed Potatos, Corn and Breadsticks) we had dinner and then I started to get the kitchen cleaned up. While I was in the kitchen ben walks over to the couch and says "What can I do to help you get this laundry put away" Now I know, I'm overreacting, but you have to know Ben. This is his way of saying, "since you didnt' get the laundry put away, I will do it so I don't have to look at it." I'm wierd. When he says this, he makes me feel like I'm not doing enough so he has to do it. I DON'T WANT HIM TO DO IT!! I want to do it on my own time and use my own system. Just let me do it. I don't hound him when he doesnt' get something accomplished at work, I give him a hug, acknowledge the things he has done and tell him to have a good day at work. Ok, I know I know, this sounds bad, I just don't want him to feel like he has to come home and help. But there are going to be days when it looks like I need help. But I don't, just more hours in a day. I do my best, I swear I do. I just hate when he thinks I should have done more. Now let me clear the air and tell you he has never said I don't do enough, he is always supportive of the things I do, he just has this way of making me feel bad when he offers to help. I dont' even think he knows he is doing it. Am I the only one who understands what I am talking about?? Ok. Enough on that factor.
On to the next. The daddy/daughter dance. This year the dance is on April 11th. Bailey is so excited to go. **heres the surprise** She asked Ben to take her, not her dad. I didnt' know what to think, I was beaming with pride and happiness that she is accepting ben as her own, but then I had this twinge of guilt that felt bad for carl. he is her dad after all. But I think Bailey is realizing what the difference is between what Carl has done for her and what Ben has done for her. And maybe I'm wrong, she said the reason she was taking ben is because she has already gone with daddy before. Maybe its as simple as that. Anyway, the problem with this situation is, nosy people. I told a friend of mine about what Baileys decisions were. Next thing I know, the situation is making me look bad for letting Bailey make this decision. Carrie is upset that I did not tell Bailey she should take her dad. Well for starters she does not have to take her dad, her dad has not been there for her other than every other weekend for the past year and a half. Ben has been there for her everyday for the past few months making sure she is getting what she needs and making sure she is loved and taken care of. I think she is old enough to make this decision on her own. She's 8 years old. this is a decison I will not step into. Shes a big girl and she knows whats in her heart. If someone does not like it, than I am sorry and I hope if something ever happens to your family and you happen to fall in love with someone else, I hope your children can accept him into their lives with love and open arms like mine have.
I think I am done rambling for now, More in a few days, or maybe tomorrow if your lucky,
Until Later
Heather
This weekend was great fun, I can't remember the last time we had such a drama free weekend, minus one who drank a little to much and his sober thoughts came out at drunken thoughts. Oh-Well things happen, and I am sure it was one of the best things that could have happened to those two. They actually talked things out the next day after they realized that both of them had been holding feelings of guilt, scardness, and anger inside. If you ask me I'll tell ya, Get that stuff out! Holding feelings in will kill ya...Start by blogging...boy does it feel good.
Anyway about our get together this weekend. Ben and I threw a First Annual Taste of Summer Party and we had an absolute blast!! Ben and I grabbed some munchies and I made oatmeal raisin cookies and sloppy joes, his mom brought swedish meatballs and Art brought some cheese and crackers. After I got this huge snackfest set out on the table people started showing up. As you all know I love to entertain, but for some reason getting people to show up is always a problem, so I was a little worried. Turns out I was worried for nothing. We had about 30 people show up. Perfect size party! Ben lit a bonfire in our new backyard and we set up some chairs. We all sat around telling jokes, talking and generally having a good time. It was a little chilly, but sitting next to the fire ben built us, we were just toasty. After a few people left, we all came inside and got to witness an arm wrestling match boy was that funny. We all retired at about 2am. Late enought for me, thats for sure. We didnt' do anything crazy, or out of the ordinary, we just got a chance to sit around and be ourselves for a few hours. Have a few drinks and enjoy the friends that we have. I can't wait to do it again.
This blog is going to be totally all over today, I can feel it. I just have so many things I want to talk about and I think I am going to try to get one or two of those things out today.
Ben and I have a problem, we both want to be in control. I don't exactly want to control everything I just want to know whats going on. With decisions, problems and solutions. I want to be a part of the final decision. This is not how things are happening. Ben and I have responsibilities and we know them well. He goes to work everyday to make money and support me and "our" chilren. I cook, clean, and take care of the house everyday. To be honest its a little rough for me. Dating a 100% clean freak is a little odd. I love a clean house, but if it doesnt' get done today I will get at it tomorrow, after all I have all day. Ben on the other hand can't handle it. He is under the understanding that everything needs to be done today. I am only one person, I can't do it. Heres the perfect example. I let laundry slide this last week, lets say I did probably 4 loads when i should have done 15. Ooops, Sometimes i just get burned out. Anyway. I started the laundry up yesterday, finished all but apprx 3 loads of it. I did not get the laundry put away. It is sitting on the couch in the living room seperated into each persons seperate basket. When Ben got home from work, I had dinner ready (Stuffed Pork Chops, Mashed Potatos, Corn and Breadsticks) we had dinner and then I started to get the kitchen cleaned up. While I was in the kitchen ben walks over to the couch and says "What can I do to help you get this laundry put away" Now I know, I'm overreacting, but you have to know Ben. This is his way of saying, "since you didnt' get the laundry put away, I will do it so I don't have to look at it." I'm wierd. When he says this, he makes me feel like I'm not doing enough so he has to do it. I DON'T WANT HIM TO DO IT!! I want to do it on my own time and use my own system. Just let me do it. I don't hound him when he doesnt' get something accomplished at work, I give him a hug, acknowledge the things he has done and tell him to have a good day at work. Ok, I know I know, this sounds bad, I just don't want him to feel like he has to come home and help. But there are going to be days when it looks like I need help. But I don't, just more hours in a day. I do my best, I swear I do. I just hate when he thinks I should have done more. Now let me clear the air and tell you he has never said I don't do enough, he is always supportive of the things I do, he just has this way of making me feel bad when he offers to help. I dont' even think he knows he is doing it. Am I the only one who understands what I am talking about?? Ok. Enough on that factor.
On to the next. The daddy/daughter dance. This year the dance is on April 11th. Bailey is so excited to go. **heres the surprise** She asked Ben to take her, not her dad. I didnt' know what to think, I was beaming with pride and happiness that she is accepting ben as her own, but then I had this twinge of guilt that felt bad for carl. he is her dad after all. But I think Bailey is realizing what the difference is between what Carl has done for her and what Ben has done for her. And maybe I'm wrong, she said the reason she was taking ben is because she has already gone with daddy before. Maybe its as simple as that. Anyway, the problem with this situation is, nosy people. I told a friend of mine about what Baileys decisions were. Next thing I know, the situation is making me look bad for letting Bailey make this decision. Carrie is upset that I did not tell Bailey she should take her dad. Well for starters she does not have to take her dad, her dad has not been there for her other than every other weekend for the past year and a half. Ben has been there for her everyday for the past few months making sure she is getting what she needs and making sure she is loved and taken care of. I think she is old enough to make this decision on her own. She's 8 years old. this is a decison I will not step into. Shes a big girl and she knows whats in her heart. If someone does not like it, than I am sorry and I hope if something ever happens to your family and you happen to fall in love with someone else, I hope your children can accept him into their lives with love and open arms like mine have.
I think I am done rambling for now, More in a few days, or maybe tomorrow if your lucky,
Until Later
Heather
Thursday, March 13, 2008
The start of something new.
Well we are going to try this again. I had a great blog and it deleted itself. So here goes again
This is a blog to keep me occupied. I will be blogging daily happenings and personal dilemmas with myself. I will include my thoughts, my feelings and things that I just want to vent about.
I can not guarantee that this blog will always be interesting but I can guarantee that it will always be 100% the God's honest truth.
Let me start by telling you a little about me.
I am going to touch base on a few parts of my life but I will try to keep them short and simple for I will be blogging about them at a later time.
**Me**
Hi my name is Heather Suzanne Knight
I am 26 years old and I will be 27 in April
I am a 5'11" 190 pound girl who struggles daily with her weight.
I have self confidence issues, but I am working on them daily. And getting better I might add
I am a mother of three beautiful children
(more on them in a minute)
I am recently divorced out of a miserable 5 year marriage (we were legally divorced on October 29th 2007 but separated since September 29th 2006)
I am involved with a wonderful man who treats me like his queen
(more on Ben in a minute too)
I have been told I have a strong personality, and I pride myself on that. (although that's not what the person was going for)
I can be loud, but I can also be very shy(it just doesn't last long)
I have a quick sense of humor and I love that I can make people laugh just by being me.
**ok you'll find out more about me through daily blogs, that was just a start**
**My Kids**
I am a proud mommy to Bailey (8) Hunter (6) and Ethan (4)
My children are my pride and joy and my job. I am a stay at home mom.
Although they drive me crazy at times.
*Bailey*
Bailey is a blond hair, blue eyed tom boy. She loves to get dirty, sometimes I think she is dirtier than her brothers. But she also loves to dress up. She hates to have her hair done, but she loves makeup and pretty clothes. Bailey is one stubborn little chick. She struggles with a few things in school but were working on it. Bailey has ADHD. She is currently taking Strattera for it and it seems to be helping, but there are times when I wonder. I had Bailey when I was 18 years old so we are pretty darn close, she was the little miracle that saved me from years of partying and getting into trouble. I love her and would not trade her for the world.
*Hunter*
Hunter is my red headed blue eyed six year old wonder. Hunter is a quiet little boy but he also has a way of making himself heard. Hunter has his daddy's temper, not bad, but quick. He thinks many things through, you can sometimes just imagine the wheels turning in his head. Hunter is a very good student, he reads well and does math with the best of them. Hunter loves anything he can ride or push around. Ok anything with wheels might narrow that down. Including the occasional four wheeler or jet ski. He is a busy little man, but just watching him grow makes my heart swell with excitement.
*Ethan*
WoW Ethan where do I start, he is a brown haired brown eyed Tank. Ethan is a big boy. Ethan does not share the same dad as Bailey and Hunter and no he does not know. I am working on it (another blog) Anyway, Ethans dad is 6'7" and appx. 300lbs. Ethan is guaranteed to be a big boy. He is so busy, he never stops. This kid will crack you up, he is so darn funny. I don't' think he is trying to be funny I just think his "logical" way of thinking is hilarious. Another thing about Ethan, he will TALK YOUR EAR OFF! This kid never stops, he even talks to himself in the bathroom because he is alone and has no one to talk to. He is a delight to have around but exhausting all at the same time. One thing you should know about Ethan, he is DEATHLY afraid of the police taking him to jail. He wants to know if everything is illegal "Mom is it "illwegal" to talk with your mouth open?" Mom is it "illwegal" to walk through the house with your shoes on?" Mom is it "illwegal" to talk in your sleep?" I think you get the picture. I have no clue where he picked up on this illegal stuff but he's stuck on it. I don't think I will ever have to worry about him getting in trouble with the law.
**Ben**
I met Ben in July of 2007 on Yahoo Personals
We have officially been together since Christmas Eve of 2007
Dating and playing the field (as he called it) since August of 2007
Ben is my Knight in shining armor, he takes such good care of me.
I could not ask for a better person to share the rest of my life with.
Ben lets me stay home with "our" kids, while he goes to work every day
Ben claims my kids as his own and takes pride in being the best daddy ever
I love him and can't imagine my life without him.
Ben is a General Contractor for a company based out of Clio
He will be 22 in April (yes I know I am 5 years older)
Ben is very dedicated to his family
He has three brothers Caleb, Luke and Jake
Ben's parents are still together and going strong after practically 26 years
He works with his family (Uncle, cousins, brothers and his dad)
Ben is hard headed just ask him, he's never wrong.
But he also has the softest heart who can turn my worst day around in a split second.
**My Family**
My family is quite small.
I have one brother Jeremy who is married to Jillian. They have two boys Logan(2) and Benjamin(who will be one in August) and one on the way. We just found out yesterday that it is a girl. ( I think her name will be Olivia, but I don't' know for sure)
My mom (Pam) lives in Gladwin with my Step Dad (Dave) where they own and run a General Store
My Dad (Sam) lives in Oceanside California with my Step Mom (Sandee) and I know he teaches but to be honest with you I really don't know much about him
My Grandmother lives very close. We just recently lost the foundation of our family (My Grandpa) in August of 2006. Its been tough, but I know he would want us to be strong.
I see my grandma about once a week. She is a very reliable babysitter for me. And my kids adore her.
I have an Aunt and an Uncle who live in Clio; they have two children. Kim who is Married to Don and lives in Swartz Creek with their three girls. and Kris who is married to Carrie (my ex best friend, more on that later) and live in Clio with their two girls and a boy
I have another uncle who lives with my grandma, he is not married and has no children.
That consists of my immediate family. I have family on Dave's side (my step dad) but that family is not very large either.
**Friends**
I have a few close friends that I know I can trust with everything but I think I just want to use this space to kinda make a disclaimer so that no one gets offended with what I have written. I am going to use this blog as a place to vent. I am going to vent freely to my computer screen without the feeling of uneasiness that venting in real life presents. Sometimes I just need to let it all out but I don't' feel that I should do it to people who are also friends with that person. That puts them in an awkward spot and that is never my intention. I want people to realize that I am not writing this blog to anyone in particular, I am writing to pass my time, kinda like a biography. Contains my ups, downs and in betweens. I do not want people using this blog to spread information about anyone, or to get back at someone else. If that is your intention than my blog is not for you. Please hit the X in the top right corner. I will blog more about my friends at a later date.
I think that is all for now, just a bit on where my life stands.
I will be blogging tomorrow about this custody battle with my ex. Be prepared for some whining and complaining. Even some one sided opinions. I am not in this to be nice to him, just for the well being of my children and that is all. If you don't want to hear me complain. Then tomorrow is not for you.
I want to thank you all for reading and hopefully you enjoyed my ramblings!
Until Tomorrow
Heather
This is a blog to keep me occupied. I will be blogging daily happenings and personal dilemmas with myself. I will include my thoughts, my feelings and things that I just want to vent about.
I can not guarantee that this blog will always be interesting but I can guarantee that it will always be 100% the God's honest truth.
Let me start by telling you a little about me.
I am going to touch base on a few parts of my life but I will try to keep them short and simple for I will be blogging about them at a later time.
**Me**
Hi my name is Heather Suzanne Knight
I am 26 years old and I will be 27 in April
I am a 5'11" 190 pound girl who struggles daily with her weight.
I have self confidence issues, but I am working on them daily. And getting better I might add
I am a mother of three beautiful children
(more on them in a minute)
I am recently divorced out of a miserable 5 year marriage (we were legally divorced on October 29th 2007 but separated since September 29th 2006)
I am involved with a wonderful man who treats me like his queen
(more on Ben in a minute too)
I have been told I have a strong personality, and I pride myself on that. (although that's not what the person was going for)
I can be loud, but I can also be very shy(it just doesn't last long)
I have a quick sense of humor and I love that I can make people laugh just by being me.
**ok you'll find out more about me through daily blogs, that was just a start**
**My Kids**
I am a proud mommy to Bailey (8) Hunter (6) and Ethan (4)
My children are my pride and joy and my job. I am a stay at home mom.
Although they drive me crazy at times.
*Bailey*
Bailey is a blond hair, blue eyed tom boy. She loves to get dirty, sometimes I think she is dirtier than her brothers. But she also loves to dress up. She hates to have her hair done, but she loves makeup and pretty clothes. Bailey is one stubborn little chick. She struggles with a few things in school but were working on it. Bailey has ADHD. She is currently taking Strattera for it and it seems to be helping, but there are times when I wonder. I had Bailey when I was 18 years old so we are pretty darn close, she was the little miracle that saved me from years of partying and getting into trouble. I love her and would not trade her for the world.
*Hunter*
Hunter is my red headed blue eyed six year old wonder. Hunter is a quiet little boy but he also has a way of making himself heard. Hunter has his daddy's temper, not bad, but quick. He thinks many things through, you can sometimes just imagine the wheels turning in his head. Hunter is a very good student, he reads well and does math with the best of them. Hunter loves anything he can ride or push around. Ok anything with wheels might narrow that down. Including the occasional four wheeler or jet ski. He is a busy little man, but just watching him grow makes my heart swell with excitement.
*Ethan*
WoW Ethan where do I start, he is a brown haired brown eyed Tank. Ethan is a big boy. Ethan does not share the same dad as Bailey and Hunter and no he does not know. I am working on it (another blog) Anyway, Ethans dad is 6'7" and appx. 300lbs. Ethan is guaranteed to be a big boy. He is so busy, he never stops. This kid will crack you up, he is so darn funny. I don't' think he is trying to be funny I just think his "logical" way of thinking is hilarious. Another thing about Ethan, he will TALK YOUR EAR OFF! This kid never stops, he even talks to himself in the bathroom because he is alone and has no one to talk to. He is a delight to have around but exhausting all at the same time. One thing you should know about Ethan, he is DEATHLY afraid of the police taking him to jail. He wants to know if everything is illegal "Mom is it "illwegal" to talk with your mouth open?" Mom is it "illwegal" to walk through the house with your shoes on?" Mom is it "illwegal" to talk in your sleep?" I think you get the picture. I have no clue where he picked up on this illegal stuff but he's stuck on it. I don't think I will ever have to worry about him getting in trouble with the law.
**Ben**
I met Ben in July of 2007 on Yahoo Personals
We have officially been together since Christmas Eve of 2007
Dating and playing the field (as he called it) since August of 2007
Ben is my Knight in shining armor, he takes such good care of me.
I could not ask for a better person to share the rest of my life with.
Ben lets me stay home with "our" kids, while he goes to work every day
Ben claims my kids as his own and takes pride in being the best daddy ever
I love him and can't imagine my life without him.
Ben is a General Contractor for a company based out of Clio
He will be 22 in April (yes I know I am 5 years older)
Ben is very dedicated to his family
He has three brothers Caleb, Luke and Jake
Ben's parents are still together and going strong after practically 26 years
He works with his family (Uncle, cousins, brothers and his dad)
Ben is hard headed just ask him, he's never wrong.
But he also has the softest heart who can turn my worst day around in a split second.
**My Family**
My family is quite small.
I have one brother Jeremy who is married to Jillian. They have two boys Logan(2) and Benjamin(who will be one in August) and one on the way. We just found out yesterday that it is a girl. ( I think her name will be Olivia, but I don't' know for sure)
My mom (Pam) lives in Gladwin with my Step Dad (Dave) where they own and run a General Store
My Dad (Sam) lives in Oceanside California with my Step Mom (Sandee) and I know he teaches but to be honest with you I really don't know much about him
My Grandmother lives very close. We just recently lost the foundation of our family (My Grandpa) in August of 2006. Its been tough, but I know he would want us to be strong.
I see my grandma about once a week. She is a very reliable babysitter for me. And my kids adore her.
I have an Aunt and an Uncle who live in Clio; they have two children. Kim who is Married to Don and lives in Swartz Creek with their three girls. and Kris who is married to Carrie (my ex best friend, more on that later) and live in Clio with their two girls and a boy
I have another uncle who lives with my grandma, he is not married and has no children.
That consists of my immediate family. I have family on Dave's side (my step dad) but that family is not very large either.
**Friends**
I have a few close friends that I know I can trust with everything but I think I just want to use this space to kinda make a disclaimer so that no one gets offended with what I have written. I am going to use this blog as a place to vent. I am going to vent freely to my computer screen without the feeling of uneasiness that venting in real life presents. Sometimes I just need to let it all out but I don't' feel that I should do it to people who are also friends with that person. That puts them in an awkward spot and that is never my intention. I want people to realize that I am not writing this blog to anyone in particular, I am writing to pass my time, kinda like a biography. Contains my ups, downs and in betweens. I do not want people using this blog to spread information about anyone, or to get back at someone else. If that is your intention than my blog is not for you. Please hit the X in the top right corner. I will blog more about my friends at a later date.
I think that is all for now, just a bit on where my life stands.
I will be blogging tomorrow about this custody battle with my ex. Be prepared for some whining and complaining. Even some one sided opinions. I am not in this to be nice to him, just for the well being of my children and that is all. If you don't want to hear me complain. Then tomorrow is not for you.
I want to thank you all for reading and hopefully you enjoyed my ramblings!
Until Tomorrow
Heather
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