Do as I say, or wait better yet do what he says

Dicipline.

I know, its a dirty word and I'm sorry

Ben and I are having a lot of trouble with this part of our relationship.

I was raised by my mom. A single working mom of two children two years apart. Who worked and raised us with little to no outside help. Using the occasional wooden spoon to give us a spanking. By the time she remarried, dicipline was something she was no longer teaching but just enforcing what we already knew.

Ben was raised in a two parent household where his mom stayed home with him and his three brothers and used the ever so frequent "Just wait until your dad gets home" Boys who were spanked with belts or a paddle. These boys respect their dad more than a lot of teenage boys but they still fear his wrath also. They know that if dad said don't do it and they did, dad was gonna blister their butts. (boy all this spankin really sound awful, but I guess we all made it as civilized adult. The world really is a different place huh?)

So our upbringings seperate us when it comes to dicipline. I hate to see my children upset, so I am awful at dicicpline. I give in too easy, I let things go and I baby them when they are upset with me. I can't stick to a grounding. I'm always afraid they are gonna miss out on something and be upset. I hate to see them hurt. Ben on the other hand is trying to get them to to behave like children should behave. When they get into trouble, they get punished. And I completely agree, I just have a hard time when he does it and I want to run to them and baby them. I need some help on how to come to a happy medium. Ben has no intention of spanking the children. He says if they need it they will get it. But it is few and far between that he ever thinks they need one. And we have agreed that if they do need a spanking than it will be with a hand and not a firm one. I WILL NOT let someone dicicpline my (our) child with anything but what the good Lord gave you. I want to teach them right from wrong, not beat them. I do not believe in the "get the belt" or using a paddle. So we have made a step in the right direction in making agreements there. So my deal is. I have to find a way to let Ben dicicpline. He is better at it, he doesn't give in and the children listen to him. They know he is not a pushover like me. I want my children to grow up to be respectable adults and dicipline is required to do that. I am completly aware of that. I just need to learn to give up some control when it comes to that. I don't want the children to resent me for having Ben dicipline them. Ok enough about that. Any pointers? I'd be happy to listen.

Spring. I love Spring. What I dont' love is the bugs. Over the past week as things have started to thaw out I have killed three spiders and there is a fly crawling on the window as I speak. I hate Bugs!! I just hate them. Ugh. But on the other hand I had the best time today just listening to the thunderstorm. Boy to thunderstorms make me feel good. They are so relaxing. I love spring.

Bailey and I got to spend some time together today that we have not had in a long time. It was jut her and I. We got up this morning and lounged around the house in our PJ's. We left the house about 1 to go and get some Taco Bell (her and I's favorite fast food) then we stopped at the movie store and rented "Enchanted" Great movie I might add. We both really enjoyed it.
I love spending time with her doing girl things. I am going to have to find a way to do it with her more often.

The new me. I came to a conclusion yesterday. I am going to stop whining, stop complaining and stop being negative when it comes to Ben working all the time. I usually complain because he is not spending any time with us as a family and when he gets home he is always so tired that conversation is out of the picture. So the new me is going to embrace the fact that I have found a man with a good job, one is supporting us while I chase my dreams of going back to school. One who stepped up to the plate and took on an established family of four without even batting an eye. I am going to love him the best way I know how and show him just how much I appreciate what he does for us. Maybe then he will want to spend more time at home. I mean when I think about. Who really wants to work all day and all week and then spend the weekend arguing and being griped at for the things you have not done. Boy, Ive been so awful and ungrateful. Shame on me!

Ok, I'm done for now, Hope you all have a great day!!
Until Later
Heather