Well here I sit on the couch, feeling as lazy as ever. I just don't have the energy to move. I have laundry to do, that sits on the couch seperated into everyones baskets. But they scream at me......FOLD ME!! FOLD ME!! and I yell back in a not so nice tone..I DON'T WANT TO, AND YOU CAN'T MAKE ME! Great I am yelling at my laundry and now I am telling the world about it. See what I mean. I'm crazy. Anyway, I am sure the laundry will get folded before the kids go to school naked. (I hope)
This weekend was great fun, I can't remember the last time we had such a drama free weekend, minus one who drank a little to much and his sober thoughts came out at drunken thoughts. Oh-Well things happen, and I am sure it was one of the best things that could have happened to those two. They actually talked things out the next day after they realized that both of them had been holding feelings of guilt, scardness, and anger inside. If you ask me I'll tell ya, Get that stuff out! Holding feelings in will kill ya...Start by blogging...boy does it feel good.
Anyway about our get together this weekend. Ben and I threw a First Annual Taste of Summer Party and we had an absolute blast!! Ben and I grabbed some munchies and I made oatmeal raisin cookies and sloppy joes, his mom brought swedish meatballs and Art brought some cheese and crackers. After I got this huge snackfest set out on the table people started showing up. As you all know I love to entertain, but for some reason getting people to show up is always a problem, so I was a little worried. Turns out I was worried for nothing. We had about 30 people show up. Perfect size party! Ben lit a bonfire in our new backyard and we set up some chairs. We all sat around telling jokes, talking and generally having a good time. It was a little chilly, but sitting next to the fire ben built us, we were just toasty. After a few people left, we all came inside and got to witness an arm wrestling match boy was that funny. We all retired at about 2am. Late enought for me, thats for sure. We didnt' do anything crazy, or out of the ordinary, we just got a chance to sit around and be ourselves for a few hours. Have a few drinks and enjoy the friends that we have. I can't wait to do it again.
This blog is going to be totally all over today, I can feel it. I just have so many things I want to talk about and I think I am going to try to get one or two of those things out today.
Ben and I have a problem, we both want to be in control. I don't exactly want to control everything I just want to know whats going on. With decisions, problems and solutions. I want to be a part of the final decision. This is not how things are happening. Ben and I have responsibilities and we know them well. He goes to work everyday to make money and support me and "our" chilren. I cook, clean, and take care of the house everyday. To be honest its a little rough for me. Dating a 100% clean freak is a little odd. I love a clean house, but if it doesnt' get done today I will get at it tomorrow, after all I have all day. Ben on the other hand can't handle it. He is under the understanding that everything needs to be done today. I am only one person, I can't do it. Heres the perfect example. I let laundry slide this last week, lets say I did probably 4 loads when i should have done 15. Ooops, Sometimes i just get burned out. Anyway. I started the laundry up yesterday, finished all but apprx 3 loads of it. I did not get the laundry put away. It is sitting on the couch in the living room seperated into each persons seperate basket. When Ben got home from work, I had dinner ready (Stuffed Pork Chops, Mashed Potatos, Corn and Breadsticks) we had dinner and then I started to get the kitchen cleaned up. While I was in the kitchen ben walks over to the couch and says "What can I do to help you get this laundry put away" Now I know, I'm overreacting, but you have to know Ben. This is his way of saying, "since you didnt' get the laundry put away, I will do it so I don't have to look at it." I'm wierd. When he says this, he makes me feel like I'm not doing enough so he has to do it. I DON'T WANT HIM TO DO IT!! I want to do it on my own time and use my own system. Just let me do it. I don't hound him when he doesnt' get something accomplished at work, I give him a hug, acknowledge the things he has done and tell him to have a good day at work. Ok, I know I know, this sounds bad, I just don't want him to feel like he has to come home and help. But there are going to be days when it looks like I need help. But I don't, just more hours in a day. I do my best, I swear I do. I just hate when he thinks I should have done more. Now let me clear the air and tell you he has never said I don't do enough, he is always supportive of the things I do, he just has this way of making me feel bad when he offers to help. I dont' even think he knows he is doing it. Am I the only one who understands what I am talking about?? Ok. Enough on that factor.
On to the next. The daddy/daughter dance. This year the dance is on April 11th. Bailey is so excited to go. **heres the surprise** She asked Ben to take her, not her dad. I didnt' know what to think, I was beaming with pride and happiness that she is accepting ben as her own, but then I had this twinge of guilt that felt bad for carl. he is her dad after all. But I think Bailey is realizing what the difference is between what Carl has done for her and what Ben has done for her. And maybe I'm wrong, she said the reason she was taking ben is because she has already gone with daddy before. Maybe its as simple as that. Anyway, the problem with this situation is, nosy people. I told a friend of mine about what Baileys decisions were. Next thing I know, the situation is making me look bad for letting Bailey make this decision. Carrie is upset that I did not tell Bailey she should take her dad. Well for starters she does not have to take her dad, her dad has not been there for her other than every other weekend for the past year and a half. Ben has been there for her everyday for the past few months making sure she is getting what she needs and making sure she is loved and taken care of. I think she is old enough to make this decision on her own. She's 8 years old. this is a decison I will not step into. Shes a big girl and she knows whats in her heart. If someone does not like it, than I am sorry and I hope if something ever happens to your family and you happen to fall in love with someone else, I hope your children can accept him into their lives with love and open arms like mine have.
I think I am done rambling for now, More in a few days, or maybe tomorrow if your lucky,
Until Later
Heather
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1 comment:
I've been waiting for a new post!
Your blog opened my eyes. It's a complete role reversal. I'm the one that's a neat freak in my relationship with Michael. Maybe I do need to relax a little on the little things. Thanks for the reminder.
I think eight is a good age to make a decision such as this. Why can't she make the decision on who she wants there with her? If you force her to take Carl, then she'll feel resentment for being "forced" anyway and not have much fun just cuz she's stubborn. I was her age once and I've been there before. Don't worry about what other people think or say. It's YOUR life and Bailey's dance. I know she'll have a blast with your Prince Charming!
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