How fast things change.

Well it has been almost a month since my last post and I am happy to report that things are going much better.

Ben decided that we have a lot of things to work on (and I agree) but he is willing to work on them with me. We have been doing a lot better, I admit, I still get angry but I am controlling it much better now.

Ben has been working in Kalamazoo all week and he comes home tomorrow. I miss him like crazy when he is gone, but its good for us. We need to give each other a break. He will be gone during the week for possibly the next month and a half. But its ok. I'm good with it. Finally.

I STARTED WORKING!! I have been dying to go back to work for quite sometime now, but I have been so scared to do so. I have not held a full time job since I was pregnant for Ethan and even then I found myself quitting so I could spend time at home with my babies.

I would still love to spend time at home with my kids but the economy is just now allowing me to do that. I need to help bring home the bacon, or atleast some kind of meat to put on the table to eat.

I am missing my babies like crazy and I still have this feeling that what I am doing is not right, but I am slowing overcoming that. Even though I can not be home with them, me going to work has been the best thing I can do for them. Reason number one. Working helps me provide for them even if I am single. If something were to happen to ben (GOD FORBID) I would have been stuck in a rut, and my children would have suffered. Reason number two. I want my children to see that you have to earn what it takes to be successful. Reason number three. Working solidifys my case against carl. He wants full custody of the children, well me not working was the only thing holding me back from a win. I now have no reaso to worry that the courts will find him more suitable. This is one heck of a weight off my shoulders.

Now back to my job. I love it!! I work in Oak Park for a branch of AT&T that is promoting the new UVerse cable, internet and home phone service. I am the office administrator for a large company that relies on me to make this office run smoothly. I love all of my co-workers. and I could not ask for anything better. I work M-F 8-4 but I am usually out by 3 and still get paid until 4. I do drive quite a ways, but its worth it.

CHANGE OF SUBJECT

My boys are growing up. Hunter turned 7 years old on the first. Where did the time go??? He is such a little man, I see more and more of Carl in him everyday. I know that I am going to have to work hard to make sure he only carries his good traits and not the bad. But so far, were doing great.

Even more scary. My baby turns 5 on Monday. OMG when did the time pass me? He is such a character, he makes us laugh on a daily basis. I can't even begin to think of all the funny things he says. But he also is a little pistol. Ethan has a temper that sometimes is uncontrollable. I don't know if it is a boy thing or if there is some kind of underlying problem that he can not portray to me. Ethan has been through so much in the last year and I blame myself for putting him through all of this, but I haven't got a clue how to fix it. He just seems that sometimes he is so angry. But those times are not as frequent as the times that he is just to happy and full of life and energy. He is a great little boy, and I have no clue what i would do if I did not have him.

So that is my update for now. I have a few more things to talk about, but not enough time to do it now, so look back soon for another update!
Have a great Weekend and until next time....
Heather